Glossary
What is a hotwife?
A hotwife is a married woman who has sexual relationships with other people, with her husband’s full knowledge and usually his encouragement. It’s an agreement between the two of them. The word puts her at the center: she’s desired, she’s choosing, and he’s proud of it.
It’s become a much more public word in the last few years, and you’ll hear it used in a few different ways. Here’s what people usually mean, what it isn’t, and how couples who do it tend to set it up.
What it means in practice
- Openness. Her husband knows. He may arrange it, watch, wait at home, or just want to hear about it afterward.
- She’s in charge of her side. She picks who, and she can say no to anyone, including an idea of her husband’s.
- The marriage comes first. Couples who do this usually describe it as something they do together, even when he’s not in the room.
- It usually goes one way. Unlike swinging, where both partners see others, this mostly centers on her.
Hotwife, wife sharing and swinging
| What it is | Who sees others | |
|---|---|---|
| Hotwife | A wife who sees other men, with her husband’s encouragement. Her desire is the focus. | Mainly her |
| Wife sharing | Mostly the same thing, seen from his side: he’s offering, and she’s agreed. Many readers use the two words the same way. | Mainly her |
| Cuckolding | The same arrangement told from his side: the thrill of watching, waiting or hearing about it, sometimes with teasing he’s asked for. | Mainly her |
| Swinging | Committed couples who swap partners, usually together. | Both |
| Open relationship | Partners agree that they can each see other people, often separately. | Both |
| Polyamory | Ongoing romantic relationships with more than one person. | Any |
Why couples do it
People who talk about it give a few main reasons. Some husbands find it exciting that other men want their wife, and it makes them see her fresh. Some wives like being wanted, and like that they don’t have to hide it. And some couples say that the honesty it takes spills over into everything else. There’s no good data on how common it is, and it certainly doesn’t suit everyone. Most couples who talk about it seriously say the talking part takes much longer than anything else.
How couples set it up
- Long talks first. Who brought it up, and does the other person really want it, or are they just being nice?
- Rules. Who, where, how much they’ll tell each other, sexual health, and what happens if someone wants to stop.
- A veto. Most couples agree that either of them can call it off at any time, without having to explain.
- Starting small. Many begin with fantasy and talk, and stay there for a long time. Some stay there for good, and that counts.
- Checking in afterward. The conversation on the way home is a big part of it, and so is reassurance. If jealousy turns up, they deal with it.
What it isn’t
It isn’t cheating. Cheating depends on someone being deceived, and here nobody is. If one partner is pressuring the other, that’s not this either. Everything depends on both partners really wanting it. If you’re reading this because a partner is pushing you toward something you don’t want, you’re allowed to say no, and that no should hold.
Hotwife stories
This is one of the most popular kinds of erotic story, partly because plenty of people enjoy it only as a fantasy. The stories readers like best have a husband who’s respected, a wife who wants it for herself, and nobody deceived. Hotwife stories has more on what makes them work, with three openings. On metime you can ask for one in your own words and steer it chapter by chapter.
Questions
What does hotwife mean?
A hotwife is a married woman who has sexual relationships with others, openly, with her husband’s knowledge and usually his encouragement. It’s an arrangement both partners have agreed to, and it’s centered on her desire.
What is wife sharing?
Wife sharing is when a husband and wife agree that she’ll be intimate with another person. It’s close to the hotwife idea, and the two are often used to mean the same thing, though “sharing” frames it from the husband’s side.
Is a hotwife the same as a swinger?
Not quite. Swinging usually means both partners are with other people, often at the same time. A hotwife arrangement mainly involves the wife seeing others, while her husband encourages it.
Is being a hotwife cheating?
No. Cheating means going behind a partner’s back. A hotwife’s husband knows about it and has agreed. If he doesn’t know, it’s just an affair.
Read it in a story
House stories on this theme. Chapter 1 of each is free to read, with no account.
- Field NotesFor once it was her idea. She's a soil scientist, so she took notes. Three coffees, three men, and a husband who reads every page.
- HouseguestMy best friend moved into our guest room after his divorce. Three weeks later, I told my wife what I'd noticed. She'd noticed too.
- The Long Way HomeA man flirted with her at a retirement party. She thought her husband's silence in the car was jealousy. She was wrong about what kind.
- Sleeper CarThree days on a cross-country train for their twenty-fifth anniversary. The man in the next compartment keeps making her laugh. Her husband has noticed.
Updated October 31, 2026. Written with AI at metime. Examples on this page were written for it; every character in them is an adult.