Glossary
Kink list: common kinks and what they mean
A kink is any sexual interest outside what a person considers conventional. This kink list explains the common ones in plain words, grouped by what they’re really about, along with the terms you’ll run into when people talk about them.
Having a kink doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, and it doesn’t mean you need to do anything about it. Plenty of people only enjoy a kink in fiction. Everything below is about adults who’ve agreed to what they’re doing. It isn’t complete, on purpose: we only list what we’d be happy to write about, and some things are left out.
Kink or fetish?
People use the two words loosely. A kink is an interest: something you enjoy that’s outside the mainstream. A fetish is more specific, and usually means a particular object, material or body part that’s needed or central for someone’s excitement. Vanilla is the opposite of kinky: sex with no particular kink involved. It isn’t an insult, and most people move in and out of it.
Power and control
BDSM
The umbrella term: bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism. Most kinks on this list fit under it somewhere.
What BDSM meansDominant and submissive
One partner leads and the other follows, by agreement. Often shortened to dom and sub, or D/s. The arrangement can last an hour or be part of a whole relationship.
Dom and sub explainedFemdom
Female dominance: a woman takes the lead, and her partner wants her to. Gentle femdom keeps the authority but drops the harshness.
What femdom meansPegging
A woman uses a strap-on to take the lead with a male partner. A couple’s choice, sometimes part of femdom and often just a role swap.
What pegging meansSoft dom
A dominant who leads with care: calm instructions, close attention and lots of encouragement rather than harshness.
What a soft dom isBratting
A submissive partner who talks back, finds loopholes and teases on purpose, and a dominant who enjoys dealing with it. It’s a game for two grown people, and it’s usually very funny.
Switch
Someone who enjoys both leading and following, depending on the day and the partner.
Service
Finding satisfaction in doing things for a partner: making the coffee, running the bath, following a routine. A service submissive enjoys giving it, and a service dom enjoys providing it.
Restraint
Bondage
One partner is tied or restrained by another, with anything from a silk scarf to rope. A lot of its appeal is in the trust.
Bondage storiesShibari
Japanese-style rope bondage, known for its patterns, patience and craft. Also called kinbaku.
What shibari isWaiting
Tease and denial
One partner keeps the other wanting, on purpose and by agreement, and decides when the wait ends.
Tease and denial storiesChastity
The long version of tease and denial: one partner gives the other control over when they can have sex, sometimes with a locked device and a key.
Words
Praise kink
Being praised is a big part of what turns you on: being told you’re doing well, that you’re wanted, that someone is proud of you.
What praise kink meansDegradation
The opposite: enjoying being put down or called names, by agreement. It’s personal, and it’s worth talking about first. A line that works for one person can feel awful to another.
Roleplay
Acting out a scenario together: strangers at a hotel, rival spies, a king and his advisor. All adults, and both playing along.
Sharing and watching
Hotwife
A married woman who sees other men, with her husband’s knowledge and encouragement.
What hotwife meansCuckold
A man who enjoys his partner being with someone else, with his knowledge and agreement. The couple chooses it together. Hotwife is her side of it; cuckold is his.
What cuckold meansCuckquean
The female version: a woman who enjoys her partner being with another woman, because she wants it too.
What a cuckquean isSwinging
Committed couples who swap partners with other couples, openly and by agreement.
What swinging meansEthical non-monogamy
More than one partner, with everyone’s knowledge and agreement. The umbrella for open relationships, polyamory, swinging and hotwifing. Often shortened to ENM.
What ENM meansThreesomes
Three adults together. Labels like MFM, MMF and FFM say who’s in the room and who’s paying attention to whom.
Threesome storiesVoyeurism and exhibitionism
Enjoying watching or being watched. In a kink, it means everyone knows and has agreed. Without that, it isn’t a kink, it’s a crime.
Romance words
Slow burn
A romance that takes its time: attraction early, a long build, and a payoff that’s been earned.
What slow burn meansReverse harem
One woman, several partners, and she never has to choose. Readers also call it why choose.
What a reverse harem isMore story patterns, from enemies to lovers to fake dating, are in the list of romance tropes.
Sensation
Sensation play
Playing with what a person feels: blindfolds, feathers, ice, a warm towel. Taking away one sense makes the others sharper.
Impact play
Spanking and similar, between people who’ve agreed to it. A lot of people mean something quite mild by this.
Foot fetish
One of the most common fetishes: a strong interest in feet, shoes or being around them.
Terms you’ll run into
- Aftercare. Looking after each other after an intense scene. See aftercare and sub drop.
- Safe word. A word that stops things at once, agreed on beforehand, for scenes where “no” might be part of the talk. Many people use “red” to stop and “yellow” to slow down.
- Limits. Hard limits are things someone will never do. Soft limits are things they’re unsure about, or only want under certain conditions.
- Scene. A planned stretch of kink, with a beginning and an end.
- Vanilla. Sex or people without any particular kink.
- Spice. How explicit a book is, in romance-reader talk. See what smut means.
What people mean by a “kink list”
Sometimes “kink list” means a checklist: partners go through it separately, mark each item yes, no or maybe, and compare notes. It’s a low-pressure way to bring things up, since nobody has to say any of it out loud first. You can use the headings above as a starting point.
In fiction it’s simpler. On metime you can say in your own words what you want to read, and keep a Never list of what you don’t. See stories by theme, or the romance tropes if you’d rather start from the setup.
What’s left out
This isn’t every kink there is. We leave out anything that’s not between consenting adults, anything we won’t write in our stories, and anything that’s mainly about injury. Our content policy has the full list of what metime never writes.
Questions
What is a kink?
A kink is a sexual interest outside what a person considers conventional, such as power play, bondage or being praised. Calling something a kink doesn’t mean it’s rare or unhealthy. It just means it isn’t the default script.
What’s the difference between a kink and a fetish?
A kink is a broad interest. A fetish usually means a specific object, material or body part that’s central to someone’s excitement. Many people use the words the same way.
What are some common kinks?
Common kinks include dominance and submission, bondage, praise, roleplay, tease and denial, sensation play, and foot fetishes. Popular interest varies a lot from person to person, and reading about a kink doesn’t mean you have to try it.
What does vanilla mean?
Vanilla means sex or people without any particular kink. It’s a neutral description, not an insult, and most kinky people like vanilla too.
Is having a kink normal?
Yes, very. Interests like these are common, and what matters is that everyone involved is an adult and has agreed. If a kink is causing you distress, a sex-positive therapist can help.
Updated October 31, 2026. Written with AI at metime. Examples on this page were written for it; every character in them is an adult.