What is shibari?

Shibari is a Japanese style of rope bondage, known for its intricate patterns and slow, careful tying. The word comes from a Japanese verb meaning “to tie”. For the people who do it, shibari is as much about patience, trust and the conversation between two people as it is about the rope.

It has also become an art form in its own right, with exhibitions, classes and performers around the world. Here’s what the word means, where it comes from and what it’s actually like.

What the word means

In everyday Japanese, shibaru just means to tie or bind, and you could use it for a package. In English, shibari means rope bondage in the Japanese style. You’ll also see a second word:

• Shibari usually puts the emphasis on the tying itself: the technique and how it looks.
• Kinbaku means “tight binding”, and it often puts the emphasis on the feeling and the connection between the two people.

Many people use them interchangeably, and even practitioners disagree about the difference. Outside Japan, “shibari” is the more common word.

Where it comes from

Its roots are often traced to hojojutsu, an old Japanese martial art of rope work. Its erotic form grew in Japan in the early twentieth century, through artists, magazines and photographers, and became a recognized style after the Second World War. It spread internationally from the 1990s on, through books, classes and the internet.

That history is more contested than most short summaries suggest. Writers on the subject disagree about how direct the line from hojojutsu really is.

How it works

• The rope. Traditionally jute or hemp, about 6 to 8 mm thick, in lengths of around 25 feet. It’s conditioned so that it’s soft and holds a knot.
• The roles. The person tying is the rigger or top. The person tied is often called the rope bottom, bunny or model.
• The ties. Most patterns start from a few basics, such as a single column tie around one limb. Chest harnesses are the classic next step, often taught as the takate kote.
• The pace. Rope goes on slowly, with attention to breathing and to how the other person is doing. Experienced pairs talk about it like a dance, with the rope as the way of leading.
• Suspension. Lifting someone off the ground in rope is the part you see in photographs. It’s advanced and dangerous without real training, and most people who enjoy rope never do it.

Common ties, in plain words

• Single column tie. Rope around one limb, tied so it won’t tighten. Almost every class starts here.
• Double column tie. The same idea for two limbs together, usually the wrists.
• Chest harness. The classic pattern above and below the chest, tied over clothes in most beginner classes. Takate kote is the traditional version, and it takes real training because of the nerves in the upper arm.
• Hip harness. A common base for more advanced ties.

Beginners are usually taught these fully clothed, in a room full of other people who are concentrating on their knots. It’s much less dramatic than it sounds, and much more like a craft class.

Why people are drawn to it

• Stillness. Being tied means you can’t do anything else, and for many people that’s a rare and calming feeling.
• Attention. The person tying is watching you closely for a long time. Few other things are like that.
• Craft. Riggers love the skill, and getting a pattern exactly right.
• Beauty. Lots of people first came to shibari through photographs, rather than through kink. Not all of it is sexual.

Is shibari safe?

Not automatically. Rope can injure nerves, especially in the upper arm and wrist, and that damage can last. People who practice regularly keep safety shears nearby, check in often about numbness or tingling, avoid the neck entirely, and never leave a tied person alone. Learn in person from someone who teaches it. A guide like this one is no substitute, and a story certainly isn’t.

Shibari in fiction

Rope makes for good stories, because it’s slow, specific and built on trust. A rope class, an old hand and a beginner, a pair who’ve tied together for years: those are strong setups. See bondage stories for what makes them work, with three openings. On metime you can ask for one in your own words, and every character is an adult who chose to be there.

Questions